I love a Starbucks Java Chip Frappuccino! Then someone introduced me to McDonald’s mocha frappe… also yummy! We ate at a restaurant recently with some friends, they said, you have to try the cheesy garlic bread. Yes! Thank you, it was amazing! The hard part is after you know what these sinful delights taste like, it’s hard not to occasionally give into your desire for them. You’ll start thinking about one of your favorite drinks, snacks or dishes and next thing you know, you can’t stop thinking about it and you head to go get one or the ingredients to make it!
I heard a friend explain, that she won’t even try a drink or a bite of something she thinks wouldn’t be healthy for her to have a lot of and often. She said, she struggles enough with making good choices and to just give her more bad choices, only sets her up to fail. I remember thinking, wow, I’d love to have that kind of will power. I thought I was doing amazingly well if I stopped at just a bite or a drink. The more I thought about it, I knew she was so right! The next time in a weaker moment, knowing how yummy something was, I wouldn’t stop at just a bite or a drink, I’d eat or drink the whole thing!
Unfortunately, over the years I have talked to many women that have had spouses that cheated on them (emotionally and/or physically) and situations where the women have been the one doing the cheating. When I’ve heard enough information, to really know how this could happen in even some really strong marriages. In many cases you can track it back to something that seemed pretty innocent in that moment. A conversation that just felt really comfortable, a chance meeting out somewhere, a reconnection on social media, or two people that regularly work together. I sat at lunch one time with a married lady friend who was smiling and giggling while texting with a male co-worker, who was also married, the whole time we were at lunch. I ask her what was going on with this co-worker? She laughed and said, “oh nothing’s going on, we are just friends, we have fun working together”. This was not the first time I had witness this. I couldn’t help but call her out on it and tell her she might not be physically involved with this co-worker but she certainly seemed emotionally involved. I ask her if she was prepared for what this could do to her marriage and her family if things went too far? She wasn’t unkind, but she blew off what I was saying. I kept praying for her and her family. A couple months later, we went to lunch again. She acknowledged I was right that she had allowed herself to get emotionally involve. The co-worker’s wife had picked up on it and called them both out. Thankfully they took steps and set boundaries at work and both their marriages survived it. Another friend told me a few years ago she had asked her husband to help with some home repairs for a lady from their church, that had lost her husband. Her friend was lonely, and enjoyed the interaction with my friend’s husband, who was very good at fixing almost anything. She would call ever so often for him to come by to help her with minor repairs. Unfortunately, over time they built a relationship that led to an affair.
In Genesis chapter 39, it tells the story of Joseph, who was described as a well built and handsome man. Joseph was put in charge and care of Potiphar’s household and everything in it. Well, Potiphar’s wife took notice of Joseph and started flirting with him. Joseph kept turning her down and trying to avoid her. Then one day she caught him alone and told him to come to bed with her… He ran out of the house! I loved that he didn’t nicely try to tell her no, he ran away! I heard a pastor one time point out, that Joseph had to know what his reaction was going to be before he was ever in that situation. That is so powerful. Lysa TerKeurst said in her book, The Best Yes, “Today’s choices become tomorrow’s circumstances”. When we let our guard down because we think we will always be strong enough in that moment to make a good decision, the devil is just waiting for you and I to have a weak moment and watch us fail miserably! We all have weaknesses in one area or another, but please understand, we can end up failing in an area we have never struggled in before if we don’t setup boundaries and decide before we are ever in a situation how we need to react.
Along with setting up boundaries, know what your “why” is… if I cross this line, what could it cost me, what are ALL the possible consequences? And be willing to run before things go too far!
Just for the record I have thought it through and the occasional tall Java Chip Frappuccino, totally worth it!!